I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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