so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
