Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just forgot I was standing up.
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