Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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