I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
they need to just BURY HIM!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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