i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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