dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
