There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
be right there i have to get my cape
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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