There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
