is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
