apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize