worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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