I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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