and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Randomize
