a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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