did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
