So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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