Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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