TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize