I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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