Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
