We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
