I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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