he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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