Cold hands, warm shart.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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