Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why do cheetos always look like penises
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize