Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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