And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
