didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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