when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I need water and some morals
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
