So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
sarcasm needs its own font
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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