Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Houston, we have a squirter
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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