i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize