I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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