I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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