my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it because I queefed?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
