Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
