I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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