dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
