The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
