If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wish i was in the wii world.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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