Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
