We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
