ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
