lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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