So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
