Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
