So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
