just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
