He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize