3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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