bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We are all done wearing pants today
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
