wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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