I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
