it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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