i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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