Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
