it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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