they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
