He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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