At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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