I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
